everyone should check out this fobio Kiss_of_the_FOB`s page. LOLLLLLL
UGH! what is wrong w/me? i have all these books by my bed, and nowadays whenever i try to read before bed, my eyes wont stay open after less than 2pages! i`ve been working on the same stupid book for the past 3-4months! and my reading list is just getting bigger and bigger.... is this indicative to that my body is w/out nicotine or caffeine? why can`t i stay awake longer? UGH UGH UGH
i miss the old nocturnal jennie... sorrie for complaining again, some ppl have been so patient w/me, and putting up w/my mood swings. gosh i complain about everything, im such a baby. oops said the b word.
and i gotta stop listening to valen hsu at work, so depressing~~
RANDOM QUOTE OF THE MOMENT
fjyao: guys with skinny moms want skinny chicks
fjyao: guys with fat moms want plumper, more voluptuous chicks
is this true?
i am so touched.
my twinkiebutt made me 4cds of his fav. music, with 4 diff. themes.
not only that, he also designed the cd jacket for all of them, and with intricate details in all corners and sides. im trying to figure out what are the 4 theme, its mostly all eletronica and indies music, i am loving all the stereolab and kahimi karie songs. he also gave me a book with a handmade a bookmark with his logo too!
so sweet huh?
though i think he`s mad at me now because i didnt go to the installationw/him.
did you know today is MTV`s 20th anniversary? its almost as old as me lol. im currently watching their special and mary j just kicked off the show. she`s wearing her signature blonde wig and brought her big boobies ;) carson daly has his arms around method man, actually, it looks like he`s a bit buzzed and hitting on him too.
THINGS THAT MAKE YOU SMILE
9:29 AM 7/30/01 I`m so happy =) I log into AA this morning and find this note sitting in my inbox.
"Jennie, you just don`t know how much your note meant to me, it made me realize and remember a lot of things that I had forgotten due to my daily stresses in life. I feel that right now, I`m being put through a huge test, at a time that I felt I was losing my way, you came along and put meright back where I belong...thank you!
Thanks for reminding me andchecking in on me.
God bless you Jennie,
Johnathan"
itcompletely made my day, and now i have this smile unwipable from my face =D
remember how i wrote about my friend jimmy, how we got into that huge argument 4th of july weekend? how he had that male PMS thingy? well, after 1 month of no-communication, I was getting jittery thinking I screwed up our friendship :T to my surprise, he called me last nite!!! i guess me and him will be forever friends =) to everyone who doesn`t know jimmy, here is an entry I wrote awhile back...
2001-05-14 - 1:58 a.m.
last nite had a conversation with my pal jimmy. i`ve known him for over 5-6yrs and i dont think he has ever given me a compliment. i remember when i was young, i used to have the biggest crush on him. i`d get so excited hearing his voice on the phone. one time he was saying goodbye to me at the pennstation, and i wanted him to kiss me so badly that i purposely missed my train so that i could spend more time with him. well,many years have passed since my youth crush, and now we are pretty good friends. last nite we were discussing what good qualities each of us had, and he told me that i am kind, sweet, smart, ambitious, beautiful, funny and thoughtful. he told me i had all the good qualities. he told me he doesn`t like it when i`m being a `weakling`. he told me that he thought i knew.
and for that split second, i wanted to pause the time forever, i felt like i was floating on clouds. of course you would think, why do i let him get to me like that, of course i should know these things about myself.. but its like knowing that your parents love you, but they never tell you. and after so many years, one day they surprise you byuttering the words and completely takes you back by surprise - and you just want to freeze the time and mentally capture the moment.
well my bday just passed. i am officially 23 now... am feeling quite old. jimmy`s bday is the day after mine, but he`s like an ajuhsshi now because he just turned 27. i swear, our friendship is just like `when harry met sally` except that we have never hooked up. over the past 5-6 yrs, we`ve seen eachother through diff. relationships, job changes, taken vacations together, gotdrunk together, yet we`ve never hooked up with eachother. and since both of us are single, we`ll talk to eachother on the phone for like an hour before we go to sleep. i mean, we are so used to eachother that even the silence is comforting...
JENNIE GETS ENLIGHTENED
11:07 AM 7/27/01 i woke up early this morning and starred out the window and had a few epiphanies.
1. fate is greater than action, and no matter how hard you try, certain things are still impossible because its not meant for you.
2. just because my mom is mad at me, doesn`t mean God is disappointed at me as well
3. the key to overcome pride is to befriend pride, know when to use it and when to ignore it.
okies thats about all the introspection i need.
MEDIA TRASH
10:50 PM 7/25/01 gosh~ i am tired of seeing movies/videos/magazines/clubs satuated with hoochie looking girls. when was the last time we saw a music video that was actually about the music? is it me or are girls wearing less and less, btw they should really rename destiny child to bootie child.
mandy moore and jessica simpson <--- these 2 girls IRK me. pleeeease don`t make a dance video if you don`t know how to dance, flipping your arms around in skimpy outfits doesnt quality! you are not irresistable, you are irritable.
yeah i know what you are gonna say, sex sells. but sex is not a novelty, whatever happened to class?
i think the concept of grace has escaped america.
here is my theory on fashion. God created man naked, man sins, man hides behind the bushes. man spends centuries coveringhimself up from head to toe.and thousands of years later, man strips and embraces his sexuality. and i`ll bet you anything, right before the end of the world, fashion will celebrate in nakedness and body, girls will be sporting transparent plastic D&G bras, and instead of raves, generationz will be hyping over nude clubbing, ergo back to original state of creation :)
BECOMING is a celebrity makeover show from MTV. basically, the lucky contestant(s) gets to dress up and duplicate a music video of their fav. stars. whenever i write inmy journal, i have the tendency to leave MTV on for some background noise tonight`s episode was these group of white boys getting picked for being the back street boys, making the video "i want it that way". anyhow - as i was writing tonight, my eyes glanced over to the TV and i see this guy making his goodbye "thankyouMTVyou`vechangedmylife" speech. "blah blah blah this is the happiest moment of my life blah blah blah this is so surreal blah blah" and for thenext 5seconds he pauses andlooks down athis hands and chokes on his words and you see tears welling in his eyes. puhahhaha i busted out laughing, for that split second, i could totally imagine frankie on the show and getting misty eyed too.
speaking of MTV, how come, or why wouldn`t they select a male asian guy on the real world or road rules?
TRUE LOVE
"The greatest thing you`ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."
Moulin Rouge 2001
what is true love? it has always been a fascinating topic, as i`m sure for many. does it exist? will we find it? will it last? anything to the matter of heart is so intricate and varies from person to person, experience to experience. we all have our ideal picture of whom he/she will be, but reality tells us that we cant choose whom wefall in love with - for love chooses us, surreptitiously in the most unsuspecting hour. we are always in awe by itswonderous effects, yet when we reach out our hands andtry to (re)capture it once more, it spreads its wings and quickly departs, only leaving us feeling exasperated. my friend once gave me this great poem that i forgot the author, but theres a passagethat holds so much truth to my eyes.
"All these things shall love do to you that you may
know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge
become a fragment of Life`s heart. But if in your fear
you would seek only love`s peace and love`s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your
nakedness and pass out of love`s threshing-floor, Into
the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not
all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your
tears."
i love this part because i think the author is writing about ppl who love, but run at the sign of hardships. forthose who are afraid of letting go and loving anotherhuman completely for fear of potential pain and suffering. laugh, but not all of your laugher, cry, but not all of your tears. such poetic verity in it. i think it also applies to anything in life, if we only to seek good and pleasure, than we miss the very essence of our quest. for without the experience of pain, we can`t truly appreciate real love. without the season of rain, we can`t appreciate the beauty of the rainbow. true love is not only based upon the physical attraction, personality compatibility, but it extends to the courage, patience and willingness to face each and every difficult time together with faith and bounded by devotion and self-sacrifice.
DECISIONS DECISIONS...
that r kelly fiesta song isoff thehook~ everyone should listen to it, jay z does the intro.
hmm, so every single day, i have to make a very important decision. what to have for lunch?
its sofrustrating,i`d spend 2hours in contemplation and conversing w/my mind.
and usually, i end up famished by 2pm with all the thoughts
brain: what do you want to have for lunch?
me: what are the options?
brain: japanese or italian
me: how about italian?
brain: you`ve been eating that for the past 3days
me: i know, but i love that sicilian shrimp
brain: wellyou dont want to get sick of that
me: true, but if we eat sushi, we can`t stop by ben&jerry for the ice cream
brain: you eat ice cream everyday
me: hmm uni or pasta, uni or pasta,uni or pasta
brain: you are so indecisive
me: stop pressuring me
tummy: hey guys, i am starving here!!!
an update lunch: i finally picked sushi. see, i am not that predictable, keke though some might disagree.
...
i finally got to check out J`s new album, there`s like maybe one good song on it? she needs to add more flavor or change her style. chris recommended me to get st. lunatics (nelly`s crew
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